Be Grateful

We have had a lot of bills piling up lately and it really freaks me out. Being in debt is such a burden, I can literally feel the heaviness of it. I am sure many of you know the feeling.

Most of you know how expensive Brady's birth was. Jared's insurance through his work had a separate deductible for maternity. We had to pay $7,500 before insurance chipped in. When we got pregnant, it was $6,500 and then it got bumped up another $1,000 over the new year. None of this goes toward our normal deductible.

Then I thought the baby was included, but he isn't. When born, the baby is their own person and we had to pay a $500 deductible for his stay and then 20% of the cost which totaled $1,050. I love $1,000 bill surprises. Granted, it shouldn't have been a surprise, but I just wasn't thinking straight I guess.

We finally got over that shock and I am hoping to work hard to pay some of this down before September. I finally felt some what okay with this until we got another thing in the mail.

We got a nice thick letter from the IRS saying that we owe the $1,600. When I read that, I just wanted to cry. It just feels like one thing after the next. Back in 2009 we got a $4,000 grant from Utah for buying a new house. When we did our taxes, there was never a question about that grant for us to put it in and so I guess we didn't put it in. We did on the Utah return. We might be getting a tax accountant from now on. Even with that amount, I don't see how that equates to $1,600 worth in taxes.

Anyway, I just can't even think about it because I feel like what's next? I just want to get ahead and get stuff paid off and we seem to be getting farther and farther behind.

Thinking about this just makes someone depressed. There is nothing good about feeling this way. So I felt like I need to think about all the things that we do have and the many blessings that have come our way. Counting our blessings and being grateful for them is a sure way to be happy. It won't erase the debts, but it will make them easier to bear. I have so much to be grateful for.

For one, I have a wonderful family. I have such a good husband who loves me for who I am and never tries to change me. He supports me in all that I do and deals with my faults like a champ. He is so patient with me. I love him so much for his sweet heart, his humor, for being a wonderful father who never shirks in his responsibilities, and his faith that if we do what's right, things will turn out.

My kids. Ryan is such a joy, even when he's a stinker. :) I love being his mother and watching him grow and learn. He knows how to light up the room and make everyone laugh. I am so grateful that I get to be the one that raises him and I hope I can do a good job of it. Brady is so wonderful. He is the best baby and has made this transition to two easy when it comes to babies. I love his chubby cheeks and his big eyes. I am so thankful that I am able to have children and that we have the ability to raise them with a home, food, clothing, and more. So many kids lack these major things.

My family. I have the best mom in the world. She does so much for me, and the thought of not having her or being near her makes me so sad. Thankfully, I have her close and have told her I will never move away from her on purpose. :) We love her too much. I am grateful for my Dad who supports me in everything and for my siblings. Steven is so fun and I am so proud of the man that he is. Nancy is the best in so many ways. She teaches me about what it is to be a true follower of Christ. She loves everyone and offers herself to help people, even those she doesn't know or may have problems with. She just has that true love of people and wanting to help. She also is one of the best wives ever. Jonathon is so lucky to have her. I am so lucky to have my grandparents and to know them and to call them friends. I love them so much and the love they show me and their friendship. I could seriously talk to my grandmas for hours. I am grateful for all my aunts and uncles and cousins. I have some of the best cousins and cousin-in-laws! I am so grateful for the love and support they send me even when we haven't seen each other in years.

I have the best In-laws too. I couldn't have been more lucky to end up with them. I could say I married Jared for his family and it might be true. :) His dad has been there for us in so many ways and is always available to help when he can. I truly feel like his older sisters and sister in laws are my older sisters and I get so much good advice and love from them. I love all my nieces and nephews. The little ones are so cute and the older ones are such good people. I am so proud of them! And I love how wonderful everyone is to me and my kids. Ryan just loves his aunts and uncles and cousins. I wish we could know his mom better. I know that she watches over us and that we will see her again someday and my kids will know what a wonderful woman, mother, grandma, and wife she was.

I am grateful for our home. There are many people who don't have a home or are forced to live in less than par houses/apartments and we have this. Not only do we get to own our place, but it's nice and spacious with room to grow and we have a garage which is wonderful. Our neighborhood is the best ever. I have so many women surrounding me who are such wonderful examples of motherhood and of Christ like love. I didn't have to cook a meal for two weeks after Brady was born because of these wonderful women and their service. I need to be more like them.

I am grateful for Jared's job. Even though the insurance is part of my stress :), he works for a great man and with wonderful people. He loves going to work, he has a flexible schedule, and he is able to provide for all of our basic needs. His boss is also one of those people that sees a need and fulfills it. I feel very blessed that Jared is able to work for him.

I am grateful for my job. I have one of the best jobs in the world. I get to make things! I have learned a lot about sewing and crafts and it has been a lot of fun. I am so thankful for my sister and brother-in-law who hired me and I hope that I make them happy with the job that I do.

I am grateful for the church. I have taught primary for the past year and a half and have just been released. It was definitely a bittersweet moment for me. I love teaching and will miss being impressed by these kids. But I definitely need Relief Society right now. I feel like I spend so much time on the kids, on my job, on Jared, on cleaning, and then a little on myself, and I don't leave enough time for the thing that is most important, my spirituality. I know there is so much I can do on my own at home and with the family, but going to Sunday School and Relief Society is going to help stir that fire within and bring those wonderful feelings back.

I am grateful for friends. Most of my best friends are my family, but I have some great friends who I rarely see, but are there for me whenever I need them. Having girl friends who I can tell anything to is a rare thing to find. And this may seem silly, but I am grateful for all my blogging and Facebook friends. I find so much support and love from them. And thank you for the internet! so I can talk to my friends even through the long months of winter and when I'm home recovering from a baby.

I have so much more to be grateful for, but the kids are sleeping finally and I need to take a nap too. (I am grateful that kids nap!:) I know that I shouldn't forget my money burdens, but we just need to make a plan and then forget about it. There is just nothing you can get from dwelling on how much it stinks having these bills. It stinks, yes, but it's something that takes such a long time to fix that you just can't dwell on it. Celebrate the little moments like saving money by using a coupon or being able to pay double on a payment. We'll figure it out and we'll live and learn.

Anyway, sorry for the random post, but I sure feel better already. Counting blessings is such a great medicine. :) Now for my nap! :)