I think we all love sleeping babies. They are so peaceful and so cute! I also love them because it gives mommy more time to get some stuff done! :)
I have been so frustrated with the whole sleep thing. Ryan used to be an awesome sleeper when he was swaddled and every since he stopped, we haven't been able to quite get it.
He was doing great being put down for a nap or bed and falling asleep on his own for about two weeks. Then some things came up and he's been horrible with it. I don't mind rocking or nursing him to sleep, but the thing is no one else but me or Jared can do it and if he wakes up, he can't put himself back to sleep.
I feel horrible that he was doing so well and somehow I screwed it all up. The whole reason for this post is that I put him down for a nap just now and he played/cried for about an hour before I just went in and picked him up and rocked him to sleep. He will be awake in 50 minutes or less.
I think it all started with the nursing strike. He still won't eat breastmilk at times so I always try to do it when he is most calm. Sometimes this is before naps and before bed. He won't drink before bed a lot of times so we will put him in his crib, let him cry for 5 minutes, and then he will drink a full feeding, BUT fall asleep in my arms. I feel like it's a battle between eating well and sleeping.
One thing I've learned, or am in desperate need of learning about, is consistency is key in raising children. I feel like that is where I failed Ryan. I wasn't consistent with his good sleeping patterns and now I feel stuck. Where do you make the trade off? Do you let him stay awake and cry for hours and hours? or just a little bit of time and then go in and help him fall asleep? At least once a day he has done the crying thing for about an hour in his crib before I give up and try to help him or skip the nap.
The thing that is the worst is that when he is being super cranky and not going to sleep, I get so frustrated! I have been doing better at not yelling at him, but I get so upset inside. I try to picture myself as Michelle Duggar (the lady with the 19 kids). She is always so sweet and soft voiced to her children, even when they are being naughty. I want to be like that. I don't ever want Ryan to feel like I hate him. It's going to take a lot of practice, but this whole sleeping thing really brings it out.
I don't know what to do. I know consistency works, but I don't know what to be consistent with. I don't know where to start.
Anyway, thanks for listening to my rambling. I just needed to vent.
6 comments:
Consistancy is definately the key to having happy kids. I think that it is not too late, but you must set up a schedule asap and stick to it! Let him cry if he needs to but stick to the schedule. Both of you will be happier and healthier!
It does sound like you need to decide on a schedule and routine and stick with it. Right now he knows if he cries long enough you will come in. Try doing the same routine for all put downs and wait for that optimum window (like 2 hours and 15 minutes after he wakes up). For example, read a book, then close the curtains and turn out the lights, then tell him it's time to go to sleep. Rock him for a little while (if he will let you) or you can put on some relaxing music. Or you can try to nurse him to get relaxed, but not let him fall asleep that way. There are lots of different ways to do it, but just find a way that works for you guys and stick with it. I know it's hard and it's okay to get stressed out. I have definitely dealt with sleep issues with Cannon. I can recommend some books or give you more ideas if you want.
I would say just let him cry. I know it's hard, but it works. If you know he's tired it's best to just let him figure it out. He will have to learn sometime and it's better to do it now. Kelsey was the same way as a baby and I knew she was tired and I knew she was crying just to get me to come back into her room. So I let her cry and each night, it got shorter. Once, I had to let her cry for 2 hours (I know, I sound so mean) but I asked my doctor and she said to just let her cry. Good luck. I hope you guys figure it all out soon. :)
I am totally struggling with the same thing almost to a T! she even doesn't like to drink her formula hardly, but just wants solid food. I gave her a little bit more but then we had about 4 big poopy diapers a day and I couldn't take it. (not to mention her bum looked AWFUL uncomfortable.) So it's back to mostly milk. Good luck with that! I guess it's just "that stage" for them!
If you figure out a sleeping cure, let me know. She's been perfect at my inlaws house while we've been out of town and goes down without a whimper, so i'm thinking the whole crying thing is a gimmick on her part knowing that if she goes long enough (nearly an hour) I WILL go get her. Grrrr. But then, she's getting more stimulation. Sometimes I just need to play with and walk her around a lot to get her more tired for when it's naptime. But I was thinking the other day... I fight sleep ALL the time even though I know better. Why should I expect her to be on a perfect sleeping schedule and go down when she doesn't feel like it, if I don't do a schedule for myelf all the time? I suppose many would disagree with me- but maybe the schedule shouldn't be so strict and that I just need to listen to her body needs more verses my wants for her to sleep!
Who knows. Good luck!!!
I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. We went through a period where we would honestly walk Porter down the halls for hours at a time trying to get him to sleep for his naps and at nights. It was rediculous and one day I just decided that we can do this anymore. I really don't like the cry it out method but I understand that sometimes you just have to let them fuss a little bit. But what seems to work awesome for us now is..making up my mind to hardly ever take him out of his crib when he is crying or fussing. We put him down in his crib at the same time each day. I will turn off all of the lights, turn on his fan and stay in his room with him and usually rub his back or legs until he has calm down and laying down in his crib..(I help him lay down and cover him with a blanket a couple of times.) After I did this for a couple of days, he has been falling asleep within minutes and knows that he won't be getting out of his crib when he cries..but that I am there comforting him. Also, we have a routine each night that we do before he goes to bed which is: take a bath, read 2 stories, brush teeth, say a prayer.. and then put him in his crib. And then I usually sing a couple of lullabies. Hang in there Shirley..sleep issues are so hard. If you ever need a break and want me to come grab him for a couple of hours, I will be more than welcome. Hang in there!!
You have already received great advice so I won't say much. I know how frustrating it can be though. Don't be too hard on yourself. It is hard being a mom. Babies are always changing. As soon as you feel like you've got it, you don't.
I really liked Emily's advice. When we were having a hard time with AliCherie I sat down and wrote out a "sleep plan." We decided that every time before we put her to sleep; we would have the same routine. Bottle, read stories, kiss on the head and lay her down with her pacifier, bear and blanket. When we first started we were having so many problems that we went really strict with exact times, etc. After two frustrating weeks she was accepting naps more often then refusing them and sleeping for longer periods of time.
Now we don't follow the schedule as rigid but it is pretty much the same. Sometimes she will refuse naps and we will take her out, play with her, and then do the full nap time routine again. Sometimes it works other times we accept that she isn't going to sleep and I usually try and get out of the house at that point. Go to the mall and walk around, etc.
Before I started dieting my favorite thing was to reach for a Coke or cookie during those very frustrating times! Oh how I miss my Coke and cookies sometimes :) Ha ha
Hang in there. Everything is a phase it seems like.
((((((hugs))))))))
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