Sleeping Babies, Part II

Oh my goodness, I can't believe the difference!

I am so grateful for all of my friends and family who read my blog and give me advice. As many of you know, I also talk a lot on Facebook, and I got a lot of great suggestions there as well. I feel so blessed. The church always talks about how the internet is an amazing technology that helps push forward the work, and that sadly, it has also been used by Satan. I can see a lot of the good and the bad. The internet can be so addicting through games, social sites, and other things, but it has been such a wonderful source for me.

As a stay at home mom, I feel connected to other women every day. I never feel lonely, which I know a lot of first time mom's can feel. I may not see another person other than Jared and Ryan for a few days, but it doesn't phase me in the least because I am able to connect to them through the internet.

Anyway, thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you! I really appreciate all the help you've given and the love and support I've received. I really don't know what I would do with out you!

Now on to what I did and the results!

Ryan now goes to sleep on his own for both naps and at bed time. For naps, we are still tweaking a few things, BUT the frustration level is down and he is sleeping longer! At bed time, he is quiet and laying down in a few minutes! It baffles me each night when I put him down. We do the bed time routine of diaper change, pj's, nursing, brushing teeth, reading a story, and then we lay him down in bed, he screams (blood curdling screams) for a bit and then lays down. The first time it was 10 minutes, second 5 minutes, third 3 minutes, and last night 30 seconds! I am so proud of my little boy!

Everyone's comments helped. The two that stood out the most to me were my friend Shelley and my sister-in-law Tanya. I had facebooked about the situation and Shelley said to let him play or cry in his crib for about a half hour. If he is still awake, then just get him up and do things to get him more tired and then try again in 15 minutes or a half hour or skip it all together. We have used this suggestion a few times and it's helping me learn what his schedule is. He likes to stay awake for about 2-3 hours in the morning and then 3-4 hours in the afternoon. Like I said, we're still working with it, but he is falling asleep ON HIS OWN! and staying asleep longer!

The other advice from my sister-in-law Tanya, was the best. I send her my blog through email so she just replied to my email.

"My Dear Shirley,

One thing I've learned about being a mom, is that I'm very rarely in control. Sweet little Ryan is sweet little Ryan. He's not you and he's not going to do things like you do or even how you want him to, even at this very young age. Relax a little. Not all children thrive on a strict schedule, some even rebel against it. Others do thrive on a strict schedule. Give Ryan the freedom to find his own schedules and patterns and you and he will be much happier. Just remember he's a little person to nurture, not to mold.

Sorry for the unsolicited advice. I just want you to be able to find the joy in being a mom rather than just the frustrations. There will be enough frustrations for things that really matter later on, no sense making the small things frustrating also. Let Ryan be a de-stressor, rather than a stressor for you. I definitely know how challenging it can be at times, especially when you're tired or have a lot to do.

I think you are a fabulous mom. Remember before Ryan was born I mentioned to you that a lot of people would always be giving you advice? This is one of those times. What I just said may ring true to your spirit or may not. Follow that feeling. You're his mom. Heavenly Father wants this to be a wonderful time for you both; He'll teach you exactly what to do through the promptings of the Spirit.

I love you tons and am so grateful to have you as a sister.

Hugs. Tanya"

The biggest thing for me was the line, let Ryan be a de-stressor, rather than a stressor for you. I actually started crying when I read that (and stayed crying through the rest of it). I had been feeling so stressed at the simple things of being a mom and feeling so guilty. I wasn't enjoying motherhood as I should and I was unhappy about that. The solution wasn't so much of anything in particular I did, I just let go. (Thank you so much, Tanya. I feel so blessed to be your sister!)

I had to change my attitude. Who knew that my attitude affects his sleeping, but I believe it does. Instead of trying to be perfect, I am just going with the flow more. I am enjoying the little things with Ryan a lot, and he seems to be happier too! He is so smiley and he just makes me beam!

Before, I would long for when Jared would come home so I could get a break. When he eventually got home, I was so cranky and we would end up arguing about stupid things. Well now that I am going with the flow more, I am so much happier, Ryan is so much happier, and Jared is as well! I welcome him home with a smile instead of a to-do list.

So basically what I learned is that Ryan does need sleep, but he needs a happier momma more. So if he doesn't want to sleep, then big deal! More time with my bubs. I love him so much and am so grateful to be his Mom.

I thought this one was just cute! He was having a hard time sleeping
in our room since I am painting his, and so Daddy took a nap with him. I love my boys!

All the pictures are from naps or at night since our few changes. I definitely love how cute my sleeping baby is!