Just One Year Ago

Our lives were changed forever, in the best way possible. It's amazing because many people will say that the best day of their lives was when their children were born. I would have to disagree. It was the best at that point, but almost every day is better.

It's the weirdest feeling because you don't want them to grow up, yet you are so proud of the things they are doing and they truly are "getting cuter everyday!" I have been so emotional, even though I didn't think I would be. We made a DVD of Ryan's 1st year to show at his party, and I can't even watch without crying through the whole thing. When I took him to his 1 year well check appointment, they had him stand up on the scale. Stand! Not cradled in the baby scale, but on the KID scale. I am sure the nurse didn't see, but my eyes welled up. As he stood there, he was playing with the cord and buttons on it. So curious about his world. He got into everything in the exam room and acted like a true one year old. I swear that he woke up on his birthday a kid and not a baby any more.

I feel extremely grateful to be Ryan's mother. He has the best, happiest, smartest, easy going personality. He is pretty silly too! It's amazing how well he fits into our lives and into our family. I have learned so much this year from him. I have to apologize to him for being the first child and getting all my mistakes, but they were all with love. He will definitely have gotten the most attention out of all our children, I'm sure. You know how some people say, "how can I love another child the same?" And the answer is, "you just do?" Well I definitely want more kids, but I find myself wondering this lately. Ryan is so perfect in every way, how will this next baby even compare!? This kid is going to have big shoes to fill. :)

I am so thankful to all the people in Ryan's life and all the support they have given. This kid (Ryan, so sad he's not a baby any more!) has so many people who love him and absolutely adore him. My mom has been such a great help, especially since we moved. She comes down whenever I need her, and Ryan loves her. He gets so excited when he sees her. She also gives him anything he needs. I rarely buy stuff for him, because she thinks of it and gets it first. We are so blessed.

Jared and I both feel overwhelming love for this little boy. He is our world. We wouldn't have it any other way. Ryan turning one was such a fun day in our little journey and we are excited for each and every day.

I never would've guessed where we would be a year ago. Those early days are so uncertain. You worry about every little thing. Watching our home videos I feel so bad for Ryan, because I was so unsure and slow with everything. His first bath was like 8 minutes long. Just a sponge bath! We would worry when he would cry, because he never cried. He was a grunter. :) We worried about germs, about whether he was too hot or cold, about how much he was eating, if he was getting enough stimulation, so many things. As much fun as those days are, I am so glad of where we are at. I am the mother of the cutest kid in the world. And I just pray he enjoys me as much as I enjoy him! lol.

I am so excited for the next year to come. It will be as much, if not more fun. I love you Baby Boy. You are my life, and your father and I absolutely adore you. Never feel like you can't turn to us for your questions, hugs and kisses, or when you're upset, sad, or happy. We are your parents and while we want the best for you, we understand it is your journey and your test. We just hope that you'll grow up to remember what families are for and that we'll always be here for you. We love you Ryan! Happy 1st Birthday!