I go to Babycenter.com quite frequently because they have amazing groups specifically for moms and pregnancy. I joined the March 2009 group WAY back in July of 2008 (almost two years ago!) and have gotten to know some of the ladies pretty well. A lot of us are already pregnant again, trying, or have had their second babies! Some are on their last kid or crying over a surprise baby. It's a great group of supportive women and I love it.
Today one of the ladies had a miscarriage. She was 10 weeks. She commented on my post about miscarrying and I am so sad for her. She was able to see the baby on the ultrasound, but it was only measuring 7 weeks and had no heartbeat. :( Of course, what do you say except for I'm so sorry! And you're in my thoughts and prayers! I reminded her I was going through the same thing, but I was still at a loss for words. There is just nothing any one can say.
Then another woman posted this:
"Thoughts on the subject are rarely welcome when you're in the midst of a loss, but I hope that it can bring you some comfort. I honestly believe that the fierce little soul that is to be your next child needed a body that could contain it's greatness. And this body wasn't it. You have not lost this child, it'll come to you when the stars align and all circumstances are right.
I know that you can't help but to mourn the loss, but try and mourn the loss of this attempt at perfection, not the loss of your child. That child, your child, will come to you."
I was SO glad to hear this! This is what I've been feeling and had no idea I was feeling it. I never felt like I had an angel baby that I would raise in the millennium (like others do about their miscarriages). But I didn't know what I felt. I am so happy that she wrote that. I know that I didn't lose a baby. My baby is still in heaven waiting for the perfect body so she -I have a feeling the next is a girl - but because I am writing this, it will turn out to be a boy, which is awesome too! :)- can come down here and make everyone fall in love with her. I look forward to getting pregnant again and carrying that sweet little baby and then providing a good life for her (it).
I just wanted to conclude my feelings on this miscarriage and it is definitely a happy thought. It still sucks that it's not on my timing, but we can't control everything. I know that my baby will come when the timing and circumstances are right. I am so excited for when that happens. I am so grateful for my babycenter group and all the support I get there. Yay for feeling like I can move on! :) And thanks to all of you for your prayers and kind words. I only hope that I return the favor.
3 comments:
Very well said
I really like what you both said.
What a beautiful thing for that woman to say. I think she's right on the money! I had 2 miscarriages before I had Daisey. As you know, it's never easy. But when I had Daisey and held her for the first time I felt a definate, "She's here." I can't even explain it really but I knew that it meant that those 2 babies that I lost and mourned for were her trying to come before it was time. Anyway, just know that I love you and you're not alone in what you're going through.
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